Paw Update

September 7 /08

Well, I went to the vet last week to have my paw checked out and the good news is that there's no glass in my cut and no infection, and it's healing well.
The bad news is I have to have an antiseptic wash twice a day and two huge antibiotic pills shoved down my throat, once in the morning and once at night, for two weeks, just in case.
Mama has to actually put her hand all the way to the back of my mouth and flip the pills in. Then she clamps my mouth shut, and tilts my head so far back that it's practically upside down, and then she rubs my throat forcing me to swallow those rocks. Otherwise I'll spit them out. It doesn't help to wrap them in food or pillpockets because I separate them and spit the pills out anyway. Oh, the things we dogs have to endure, eh?

Anyway, I think I'd rather have pills shoved down my throat all day long than spend one more minute at the vet than I have to.

When I got there, there wasn't even anyone at the reception desk to give me a cookie. Usually, Beverly,the receptionist, greets me and says, "Hi Chef. Would you like a cookie?" And she gives me two or three yummies from the yellow bowl. But she was nowhere to be seen. What the heck was that about? The vet pays her to sit there and give out cookies. So, where was she?

I called and called but she didn't come. I could reach the yellow bowl so I could have just helped myself but Mama was at the other end of my leash and I just knew she wouldn't like that. It seemed like all my barking wasn't going to get me a cookie ...


... until a French lady stepped up to the desk. I barked at her, asking if she would give me a cookie. Mama told her she could and she gave me two. I love that lady. I licked her hand and got slobber all over her purse, but she didn't seem to mind.


"Merci infiniment, ma jolie dame ... croque, croque."

OK, I got what I came for. So I started looking for a way to get the heck out of that place before the vet came looking for me. It wasn't going to happen. She called my name before I could even put a plan in place.


It wasn't long before I was in the vet's torture chamber. I always jump on her table and she always laughs. I'm the only dog she knows that does that and it's made me famous. She said she tells everyone about the Boxer that hops on her table and they all think it's pretty hilarious. Actually, I'm in no hurry to be on her table, but it reminds me of the grooming table, which I love being on, so I get a little confused.

But it becomes all too clear very quickly. Within seconds, I'm a quivering mess. Sometimes it takes two technicians and Mama to hold me still.

Then the vet started poking around my paw. It's very hard to balance on three legs when you're shaking and rattling around.

She said it was a very deep cut but that it was already healing very well. Yeah, ok. So the exam's over, right?

Well, I no sooner got over that indignity and she stuck that glass thing up my butt. She didn't even ask me if it's ok. She just zipped it right in there, no questions asked. Then she looked at me like I was some sort of sillypuppy. She thought if she talks doggietalk to me and makes funny faces I was going to forget it's there. I don't think soooo.

When it was over, I hit the ground running but not before I checked to make sure she didn't accidentally leave it there. No way was I going home til I knew for sure.

Yup. It was gone. Whew.

Then it was time to get weighed. The vet left me on the scale for a couple of minutes and I was sure it was to make up for what she put me through.

But instead, she came back with a bottle of pills, some anticeptic, and the bill. Bah!

Well, I was finally on my way home. Before we left, though, Beverly was at her desk and she reached into the cookie bowl and gave me two for the road. You can see by my slobber that I enjoyed it very much!

I was sure glad that was over. I like my vet but I don't want to see her again for a very long time.


Niamh said...

Glad to hear that your paw is healing well, Chef. I know what you mean about trips to the vet though. They are all nice, giving you cookies and petting you and then they go and stick things in your rear end. The indignity of it!!

Your friend,

Mango said...

What did you do to my momma? She is reading your bloggie and the water is coming out of her eyes, but she is showing her teeth, so I think she is laughing.

I don't get it. First you are starved for cookies, then forced to stand on that table, and then the glass thing, well, the horror, not funny at all in my book.

Thanks for the award! I need to go post it on my bloggie right away!


Lola Smiles said...

oh my dog Chef -you & i are so much alike at the vet's! I jump up for cookies too! :)

Yummy! Thanks for award buddy. My ape will update the blog soon. She's been really busy lately - *sigh*!

Deefor said...

Mon perro! I didn't know you were tri-lingual! You are very brave at the vet. Specially considering what they did to you. I just hope you get better soon.

Thanks for the award. My human will help me get it on my blog soon.


The Puppies said...

Poor Chef!!

You had a lot to go through at the vet!! That doesn't look like it was very much fun... even with the cookies you got before and after!!! We hope we don't have to go through the same thing......especially since I (Opal) am always running around at full throttle and Mom is always afraid i am going to hurt myself doing that!!! Anyway, we hope you feel better!!!
The Puppies

Moco said...

We are happy that your paw is healing so well. What is with the vets and that glass thingy. They sure like to put it up our backsides. Do they get paid extra for that? I don't know. You got a haul of cookies.

Toffee said...

I am so sorry about your paw!

I hope it is getting better and better with each passing day.

My mom finally got her butt over to UPS and mailed a little package for you - you know the one we've had since BEFORE the wedding and honeymoon. My mom is such a dufus. It is supposed to arrive on Wednesday unless the peeps at the border decide they want "in" on your yummy treats.

take care,

Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Poor Chef, Aside from the cookies, what a sucky day! I don't know WHY all the vets in the whole world love to shove things in our butts!?! Wonder how THEY'd like it? hmmph. Glad your paw is going to be ok. We get pills the same way you do except besides rubbing our throats, she blows in our face too. What fun.
Take it easy on your footyfoot!

the 4 Bs said...

hey Chef, that visit to the vet looked humiliating. we're totally glad that your paw is healing and all that, but the torture that you have to endure at the vets is unwarranted. are you sure it's worth a few cookies? and it's not like anybody is asking you if you're feeling okay? rude, we tell you. it's very rude.


Abby said...

Hi, Chef...

I'm glad your paw is on the mend...

Too many of us are going to the Vet lately...We need to cut this out...Ya know??

I'm feeling better, too, but the Vet put me on this "Special" Diet...I'm not sure I'm gonna like that very much...

Abby xxxooo

Lorenza said...

Hi, Chef!
Please forgive my mom but she is laughing like crazy reading your post!
Glad to hear your paw is healing well!
So, it was not enough you told us about the thing in your butt... your mom had to show it! Ha!
At least you got some treats!
Kisses and hugs

Gus, Louie and Callie said...

Wow you were violated!! What is up with those vets. They always do that to us too...

Big Sloppy Kisses
Gus, Louie and Callie

Gucci said...

Aww Cheffie,

I'm sorry you don't like going to the vet. I looove going to my vet and they don't even have cookies! Maybeee my Mom will read this and realize that vet = cookies. I'm gonna leave your blog open on the computer and hope she glances at it!

Alsooo...I just got my first martingale collar on Friday! It's black and it annoying coz it doesn't have a buckle so it's tough to get on and off. Mom got it to use with my new 26' lead so we can practice my recall. Training means treaties so I'm happy bout that!

Hope you had an awesome weekend handsome boxerboy 'o mine!!


Mr. T-Bone Beasley said...


They do the butt thermometer in Canada too??? Dang I hate that thing. As soon as the vet pulls my tail I usually sit on her hand so she knows that I dont' want anything up my pooper!

I'm glad to hear that your foot is feeling better. I have to take pills too. Pills are awesome with peanut butter. Tell your momma to get some of that stuff!

Mmmmmmmm yum!

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Sophie Brador said...

Hey Chef,
Love your vet trip story! I haven't been around much lately, because someone over here is back at school teaching all the time. But I haven't forgotten about you! Sorry to hear about the Anti-Bs. I know that story!


Peanut said...

hmm glad the paw is doing better. I've learned to hide the pills in my jowls then spit them out way later. I can still get away with it about 1/4 of the time. Better then nothing I say.

Deetz said...

I am never going to the vet, ever again. I do not want stuff up my butt.

Thor said...

I´m glad to hear your paw is healing well.

Love and licks

The Zoo Crew said...

Mom knows of a trick to get you to swallow those pills! Have you mom put them at the back of your throat. Then she needs to hold your mouth closed. Then she needs to blow in your face. It will make you swallow! And, voila! Pills taken :)

Kai (who gets tired of this routine daily!)

Dewey Dewster said...

Aw Chef....

Yep those visits ta the vet are not the most pleasant thing in the world at siree.....I had ta go back fer some drugs over the weekend 'n I'm hopin' that's the last time I have ta visit them fer a long time.....but I didn't get but one little biscuit there...I think ya need ta write the guys I go ta 'n tell 'em ta get with the goodie program....seesh....a guy could starve ta death fer sure.....

Dewey Dewster here.....

Jan's Funny Farm said...

That was some trip. You have a more interesting vet than we do. And Sam is the only one of us who gets treats. They all think he's so cute, they just feed him biscuits and biscuits and .... It's no wonder he doesn't mind going. But the rest of us ......

We hope your paw heals fast. Has your mom tried dipping your pills in peanut butter. Buddy and Sam take anything in peanut butter.

Noah the Airedale said...

Chef, we're so glad your paw is better. The antibiotics are going to help too. When I take my arthritis meds pinky wraps the tablet around some cheese. Maybe your pinky could do that so it doesn't taste so bad.


Mindy Lu said...

BARK!!! WOW, I never thought of standing at the counter for the cookies. I will have to try that next time. Mommy wants you to check out the techinique I tried after watching your BEG lesson. Let me know how my learnin is coming along- BARK- Sasha the princess!

Georgeous said...

Oh Chef, that was a Pawsome post (excuse the pun). My Mumma said she used to put pain pills in her last Rotties throat, then she realised that stuffing them in a sausage was a good idea, thank dog she thought of that. She laughed her socks off at you jumping on the table, I like to make the vet get down on the floor on my level BOL...must go a chew a sock now.
Love George

Mack said...

Boy you are impressively tall!!

We hate the vet too - My mom says the worst part of it is the bill but I think she is full of it!

happy said...

Don't we all hate visits to the vet! Erm...except for the yummy cookies treat.

Clover said...

Hi Chef!
I am glad your paw is doing ok - but boo to the pills and things. I LOVED all the pictures with captions you made - you are so cute and funny!
Love Clover xo

Aniemother said...

Poor guy! That doesn't sound like fun, allthough personally I love the vets!


Maverick the Pirate said...

Harrrrrr Chef
Hope yer paw gets better Harrrrr. you need to focus more on yer handler in the ring Harrrrr. You get more treats that way Harrrrrr.
Cap'n Maverick the Pirate

Maverick the Pirate said...

Harrrr Chef
I am a vet and only show at specialtys Harrrrr. I show in the Mid wes mostly Harrrrrr.
Cap'n Maverick the Pirate

Momo and Pinot said...

Chef!! Mom finally helps us to come by your blog tonight.. anyways we're glad your paw is doing ok!! We know humans do nasty thing at the clinic which we don't understand!!

Thanks so much for your kind words about our brudder!!

Momo & Pinot

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

Tres bien! Tres bien! Beau chien, Chef!
Man, I envy you, you could reach the cookie counter like chewing a T-bone. Me? I can only shout to make my presence known.
Thanks for the award man, you're one of my best friends whom I love dearly and can't blog without.

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

Merci beaucoup for the barkday wish.
Oh yeah,
Moi je t'aime
Tu vous aime
Nous vous aimons tous les deux!
A very old love French song that I could remember much.

Jennifer said...

Chef, buddy! I feel your pain. You're such a well behaved and good natured pup and yet you endure the vet's torture chamber with dignity and grace. You're a good man!

I don't get it though. I'm sitting here reading your blog and my people are also reading it over my shoulder. They are both laughing hysterically. Here I'm scared for you and yet your captions and story made them laugh.

Oh buddy...I apologize for my two-leggeds....sometimes I just don't understand them.

Take care!

Woofs and slobbers from your Newfie pals,

Gabe and Willow

Gaia the Airedale said...

Well at least you got some cookies in the end Chef! I feel ya too with all those pawlitics...

puppy breath,

Bella the Boxer said...

Pauvre Chef! Qu'est-ce que ils ont fait avec toi?

xoxo - Bella