A letter to my family

March 7 /09
Dear family:
I've got a bone to pick with you.

I noticed that you had a dinner party last night and everyone ate a big, delicious meal in the diningroom. But did I get invited? Noooo.

Instead I had to sit pathetically next to the diningroom table waiting for someone to toss me a scrap of food. Then I was dismissed to the kitchen to eat the leftovers. I hope you didn't let my wagging tail fool you. I was pretty insulted.

I guess you just haven't noticed that mealtime can get pretty lonely, eating scraps from a bowl all alone in a corner of the kitchen. I think the family dog has a rightful place at the dinner table with a plate piled high with food just like yours.

Here I am last night waiting for someone to notice me and toss me a piece of meat. Doesn't it make your sweet, starving boy look like a street beggar? Don't I just break your heart? If you'll let me eat at the table, I won't stare or whine or drool. Just fill up my plate and forget I'm there.

Besides, I'd definitely share my kibble with you if you wanted to crouch down and eat it from my bowl with me. What's mine is yours! So why can't I have my own seat at the table with you? I'm a good boy, right? I'm clean and obedient. I don't make in the house ever. And I win ribbons.

Just look at me in these pictures and tell me no:

So, look into my big brown eyes and tell me I have to eat leftovers from a bowl on the kitchen floor and all alone for the rest of my days... Hmmm?

Your faithful dog,

Cheffie xo


Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

I think Gucci has a softspot on the khouch fur woo!

PeeEssWoo: She looks extra beaWOOtiful today!

Lacy said...

w00f's Cheffie, ya sold me on it...hope it works wiff u pawents..

b safe,

pps, heehee nice touch, the sad puppy dog eyes...

Noah the Airedale said...

If your family dont invite you to the next dinner party after giving them that look, then something is very wrong. Good luck Chef.

Noah x

Maggie and Mitch said...

We so understand your pain, Chef! The same exact thing happens to us more times than we can mention! The hoomans just don't understand how heartbreaking this is for us!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Mango said...

You do suffer, don't you.

I like your new book a lot. That was a great adventure.


Niamh said...

How can your family resist those boxer eyes? I hope your family has a change of heart and piles your plate with food.

Your friend,

Mason Dixie said...

Those big brown eyes are hard to resist. I hope next time you have a place setting. =)

Joe Stains said...

omdog I am sobbing over here. If this letter doesn't work, nothing will.

Raising Addie said...

Awwww... Chef that's just not fair!

You were being a very good boy. I hope your family comes around gives you a plate where you deserve it.

Lots of Luv & Kisses
Addie and Lucie

Lorenza said...

Hi, Chef!
Your letter touched my heart. I hope it worked with your parents!
Good luck next time!
Take care
Kisses and hugs

Eric said...

Who could resist your looks, charm and winning ways? Can't believe your leggededs would be SOOOOO mean. Must have hearts of stone not to let you sit at the family table...after all you probably cooked it for them didn't you Cheffie???? He,heeeeee!!

Wiry wags, Eric xx


Abby said...

Hi, Chef...

I'm sure that will do the trick...Who could resist those big brown eyes??

Hey...Come visit my Blog...You're gonna love what I found in my Back Yard this afternoon...

Abby xxxooo

Pedro said...


You stated your argument very well. I hope your humans listen and give you your own seat at the table.


Honey the Great Dane said...

Hi Chef,

My family are like that too! In fact, I'm not even allowed into the kitchen or dining room area coz I might "counter-surf" - coz I'm really tall...and I always have to eat my meals outside because I slobber and drool a lot!!!!

But anyway, I don't mind too much as long as they put some yummy leftovers in my bowl! :-)

Honey the Great Dane

Lois Lane/Laney said...

You poor guy! I couldn't say no.

Lola Smiles said...

I can't believe no one snuck ya a piece of meat under the table. Mom is really really BAD for that. She's always doing it at other people's houses. Doesn't do it with me though!! Pffffft!

I hope you're well Cheffie.

luv ya
Lola Smiles

Hero said...

How can your hoomans deny big puppy eyes like yours?! I hope this letter of yours let them see things your way. Best of luck!

Rambo said...

Awwww...poor Chef. Look at that frown and those big sad eyes. I feel sorry for you dude. NOT! But I think it may work on the humans.


Sophie Brador said...

How absurd! And with a name like yours? If you want to come live here, I will make sure you get to sit at the table. My mom is a total sucker for a handsome face. Mind you, I don;t get to sit at the table. But I do have a raised bowl! That's something.


Nibbles Treats said...

Poor Chef. We thought your name implied that you actually prepared the food. What kind of show are your people running? We're gathering up goods for a goodie bag to send your way. We're afraid you may whither away to nothing waiting on your people to give you some scraps.

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Very nice letter, Chef. We'll have to try that too, but we don't think it will work on Jan. But good luck to you!

Mango the Maltese kiddo said...

You make my mom cries, haha!
Thanks for speaking up, pal!
I simply hand your letter to my mom, she reads and she weeps, then guess what, nothing happened! Nothing improving here!
We still eat at our corner on the Floor then continue to use our puppy eyes begging for food, how pitiful, how insulted!

Anonymous said...

Oh Chef, I know just how you feel. Our humans act like we're the most important thing in the world to them - until it comes to the dining table. Put your money where my mouth is, I say!

See ya!

Moco said...

Shades of Oliver Twist. What is wrong with your hoomans.
Love the comic book.

The Puppies said...

Poor Chef!!!! Hope they listened to you but if they are anything like our family, they don't! Eating leftovers in a bowl by yourself is nowhere near as fun as eating at the table with everybody!!!!
Good luck!
The Puppies

Georgeous said...

I suggest you never offer to share you kibble Mr Chef, let them see how they like it!!

Emma and Emmy said...


You are our hero. You voice up for our four paws community that these people are so MEAN when it comes to table food.

Peanut said...

Chef buddy that is just not right.